Child Discipline: Teaching Your Children About Consequences
Every decision has its consequences. Everyone learns this--some easier than
others. Some people have to learn the hard way. Some learn early from the
discipline of parents that there are consequences to actions. But as parents,
how can we chose the right discipline for our child?
Parenting books have many different views on how this needs to be done. One of
the easiest and most used methods (even if you don't realize it) is to use
if/then consequences. (Everyone has heard, and many parents have even used,
this: IF you do not finish your peas, THEN you get no dessert). If you are
having a difficult time teaching your child how to make good decisions, if/then
statements have been proven to be a wonderful way to bring about quick changes,
as long parents are consistent with follow-through.
Before beginning to use this method, there are a few things parents need to
understand:
1. There is a world of difference between "punishing" your child and
"disciplining" her. Punishment is meant to show power and strength, but little
love. Discipline teaches a child what behavior they exhibited that was
unacceptable, and helps them to understand why. Children also learn what you
want them to do next time.
2. Never discipline your child when you are angry or upset. Reprimand the
behavior at the time, but wait to discipline until you (and your child) have
calmed down.
3. Rewards for good behavior should not be monetary, nor should they be
expensive gifts. We parents do not get money, cars, expensive gifts, etc., for
doing the right thing, and we do not want to teach our children that she will be
rewarded for doing the right thing. Rewards should be based on the effort your
child makes, not necessarily a perfect outcome.
4. Make sure both parents are on the same page, and are consistent. (Ever since
there have been children and parents, children have been telling Dad "But Mom
said" or vice versa.)
If/Then statements are simple. Think of the behavior you would like to change
(failing grades, talking back, not picking up after himself, etc.). Make sure
this is a behavior that your child knows is not acceptable.
Think of consequences if your child continues the action (no TV, no computer or
video games, no phone privileges, removing things from her room, etc.). Make
sure that the consequence will have some value to your child. There is no point
of taking away TV time if your child has a video game system in his room, or
spends all of her time on the cell phone.
As your child realizes that you are serious, and both parents are going to be
consistent, most behavior problems begin to decrease. If the behavior does not,
there may be additional causes for your child's behavior, and you may want to
look into professional help for your child. However, if there are no additional
causes, the result of this will be better communication, fewer power struggles,
and more quality time.
About The Author
Parenting today is more demanding than ever before because we have higher
expectations for our children and there are more demands on our time. To get
Help for Parents and proven parenting tips and techniques for busy parents
visit
Parenting Skills:
www.PracticalParentingTips.com.
Article Source: Parent Super Site
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